There's more than one reason why I become defensive when someone asks me if I'm a vocalist. I just have to take a second and explain what those reasons are because I've had my fill of "vocalists" for today.

To begin with, I apologize if I offend any singers. I am technically one of you, but in writing this I hope you can look deep within yourself (if that's possible) and consider possible changes if said offenses apply to you, which I am sure they do not.

The number one reason I refuse to be labeled a vocalist is that they know hardly anything about music but walk around as if they created it. Agh! And this is no isolated event... it's an epidemic.

The number two reason: they put up fronts with new people because they don't want to get back stabbed once they're super famous. (Another uni-syllabic, frustrated utterance.)

Number three: Some women in male dominated professions overcompensate by becoming too masculine and emasculate men. Well, vocalists mostly swing the other way and play up the "easy" vibe. There is a happy medium, ladies. You don't have to dress like men and act like them, but you also don't have to dress like one of Madam Fleiss' girls.

And the final reason I've had enough is that at my school, the piano players get ripped off of quantity practice time while at school because there aren't enough rooms. But the singers get private vocal labs with keyboards and computers in them!! Most of the time the girls just sit and talk in them. But then walk out with the "Mariah Carey's got nuthin on me!!" attitude, of course.

Forgive me for ranting. I've just had my fill for the day and had to let off some steam. :) I'm sure vocalists are wonderful people....or are potentially wonderful people. It just needs to be cultivated in them a bit more. Or something.

If this list wasn't exhaustive enough, here are some other reasons, examples rather:
Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, Anyone on American Idol, Lindsey Lohan, and Hillary Duff. I say we give them a music quiz to determine whether they're allowed to remain in this field. First question ladies: How many keys are there in an octave? Too easy? How about, how many key signatures are there? What's a key signature you say? Yeah...

Posted by Portia at April 14, 2005 11:52 PM