Tips for Travelers

At some point, I'm sure I'll delve deep into my ventures that have seen me in 5 states, three time zones and eight flights in three weeks, but for now, I'm slowly recovering from all that activity, so posting will be slightly superficial--just for the time being.

Here's a little travel advice for everyone:

If you're traveling alone, some valuable advice:
1. Pick aisle seats. When nature calls, it's really hard to climb over linebackers who are in deep sleep. Window seats: great in theory.

2. If you're female, you should know that I noticed that handsome men often pick exit row seats. Great fun.

If you're a Californian traveling outside the state:
1. Ask for non-smoking. I know, we haven't had to do that for years now, but if you don't want your clothes to reek, remember that.

2. Don't assume run-of-the-mill leather gloves will cut it in 14 degree weather. Big mistake.

All travelers:
1. Don't mess with bitter, TSA X-ray machine workers. I swear they planted something in my bag at LAX. Don't get me started.

2. Try not to return at rush hour. Shuttles get stuck in traffic, leaving you standing there, on the curb with all your luggage...for an hour. Won't go there either.

3. Make sure you don't drink too much water before the flight. That take-off can seem eternal otherwise.

4. If you slip and fall, face planting in the snow, stand up, brush yourself off and take a bow.

Finally, to end this ridiculous post, the three things I've missed most about being away from this blue state that, warts and all, I love:
1. Organic health food
2. Sleep
3. Time alone with Jesus

That's all for now. I'm sure no one's reading this anyway with all the holiday activity. Merry Merry Christmas!!

God bless you all.

Posted by Portia at December 23, 2005 10:30 PM | TrackBack

also look out for gigantic dinosaurs

helpful if your in some remote island, or you're escorting a 30' tall gorilla

Posted by: MacStansbury at December 24, 2005 01:22 PM

I always get an aisle seat for the freedom of movement and when the airline I'm flying allows me to preprint my boarding pass a day ahead of time I always try to get an Exit row. I guess that makes me good-looking and smart.

Merry Christmas to the Divine Ms. Em!

Posted by: Night Writer at December 25, 2005 09:30 PM

Also, try to pick flight times where your loved ones don't have to get up at Odarkthirty to get your little self on your way. That's two in a row. Next time, I'm sleeping in. Don't forget the real nice guy who had hot In-N-Out waiting for you after your recent frazzled arrival. Explain In-N-Out to those back east who haven't had the pleasure. Explain precious and spoiled. Your welcome, Portia......we're proud of you!

Posted by: Portia Pop at December 27, 2005 09:33 PM

you reeeeeeeally need to explain that.


Posted by: MacStansbury at December 29, 2005 08:39 AM

For those of you not from California, In-N-Out Burger is a (Christian) family run burger joint that has the best fries ever. Everything is fresh. You can watch them slice the potatoes to make fries while you wait. It's the best drive through burger place around, hands down.

Just thought I'd fill you in. Every one of my friends from out of state quickly becomes obsessed with In-N-Out. Good stuff.

And, yes, my daddy was waiting at the shuttle stop with a burger, fries and diet Coke in hand upon my return. Thanks Dad!

Posted by: Portia at December 29, 2005 10:55 AM