There's a Reason I'm Not a Public School Teacher

I would have been fired today.

I tutor several fifth grade students. This phase is quite developmental as far as their reading comprehension and writing skills. I gave one of my fifth grade boys a simple writing prompt today: If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be, what would you do, etc, etc? Simple enough.

The boy began writing about his desire to go to Korea. He came about this choice quite randomly, as I don't think he's ever given that part of the world more than two seconds of thought.

He wrote about wanting to learn of their culture and way of life, etc. I decided that I would give him a little background on the North-South debacle that is Korea right now. I forgot that I was talking to a fifth grader.

My student then covered his paper with his hand, shielding me from what he was continuing to write. First red flag. Then he proudly handed me his paper, which concluded by saying that he'd like to meet Kim Jong Il so he could "kill him... with his sexy powers."

(Let it be known that "sexy" has never been in any of our vocabulary lessons. I think he's seen Austin Powers one too many times. And he's a fifth grade boy, so destruction is cool.)

I couldn't help but laugh. But then was mortified when he proudly handed his paper over to both his parents while I was standing there. Possibly one of the more embarrassing moments of my career as a tutor. They uncomfortably laughed and I explained that I only told him how awful it was for the North Koreans and that I didn't advocate children killing world leaders.

Kids say the darndest things alright.