House of Uncommons

Perusing the blogroll for The Bear Flag League, I came across what can only be described as an exceptionally brilliant blog. Gerard Van der Leun of American Digest, proposes an idea to keep congress inactive. For, he warns, it is not a useless and impotent congress we must fear, but rather a congress of accomplishment that poses the greatest threat to our way of life.

"Self," said I, "how can patriotic Americans of every race, color, creed, national origin, or self-assigned gender, make sure, make certain to a quantum level of granulation, that Congress does less than nothing; that all accomplishment in Congress moves from Zero into negative numbers?"

And then it came to me like a revelation, like a bush bursting into flame, like a pillar of fire lighting my way out of the wilderness of potential congressional action into the Promised Land of utter congressional paralysis: Clone Cynthia McKinney!

My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized the Synthia® McKinney clones would be infinity squared more inconsequential than your average congressman. Because Synthias® would be able to hear themselves blather day after day without a scintilla of shame or self-consciousness. The Synthias® would not be just idiots... they would be cloned idiots, chips off the original blockhead, sports derived from the macromolecule of the primeval idiot. These would be clones who blathered from their ceaselessly heaving, eternally victimized hearts, who had oceans of blather to siphon up and spew, who were the parthogenetic children of the mother of all blather, who were filled with original spite... but they had the drool... the drool... to blather on whenever even so much as a Web-Cam was pointed vaguely in their direction. If I had ten of these clones our troubles with legislative creep and the creeps of the legislature would be over very quickly.

You must read the intro and conclusion to this fantastic scheme here. And don't forget to click on his "Main" link and browse. You'll thank me.