Up is the New Down

Hard work and honesty are out. Cheating and plagiarism are the new research and original thought. Fame and fortune is easier had when the following prescription is carefully carried out:

1. Place yourself somewhere in the cozy academic world, either as a teacher, or student in an ivy league university.

2. Next, lie and cheat. If you are the teacher, make up ridiculously false information about America's history. If you're the student, "borrow" other authors' writing, or better yet, embellish your autobiography so greatly that it lands you a spot on the Oprah Winfrey show.

3. Once you're outed as a fraud, hire a good attorney.

4. Allow bloggers to scourge your reputation for a few days. Four maximum.

5. Call Good Morning America and Katie Couric, drum up a few crocodile tears on national television, blame your problems on the rich, white man, and bam, famous!

The Bennish/Viswanathan formula works every time. Guaranteed or your private life back.

Posted by Portia at May 4, 2006 12:02 AM | TrackBack