February 28, 2004

To Make a Short Story Long


For the sake of easy reading, I broke my last entry up into two parts. I would have included this next post with it, but I think they call those novels, not blog updates.

This song has been on my heart for the last few days, years actually. Stuart Townend is truly another David. He is a wonderful Psalmist and modern day hymn writer. This is one of my favorite songs of his, and the lyrics are so incredibly timely. If you'd like to see more of them or listen to it, you should visit Worship Together or Heart of Worship to get more information.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
to make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

Posted by Portia at 05:58 PM | Comments (0)

The Passion


Well, tomorrow I'm going to see The Passion with our college group. I wanted to see it sooner, but it doesn't seem like the kind of movie I'm going to want to see twice, so I just waited to see it with all my friends.

Last Sunday, in our main sanctuary, they showed a brief clip of the movie (about 3 minutes) and I was trying so hard not to all out sob. Everyone was crying around us. And that was just 3 minutes! I know I'm going to waste an entire Kleenex box in the theatre.

This movie has done more to make Christ's sacrifice, his suffering (aka passion), real than any other production, in my opinion. So many of the other movies about Jesus glossed over the gruesome torment he endured on our behalf and emphasized what a meek and mild human being he was. Not that there's anything wrong with showing the character of Jesus, but I think we do a disservice to Him and to ourselves when we don't tell the whole story.

God bless Mel Gibson. I pray for him constantly. What a man...his love for the Lord is so evident and his commitment to endure the ridicule and scorn of the secular world is astounding. However hard this has been for him, I don't think even he will truly know how many lives will be changed because of his faithfulness.

My dad and I have a joke about stupid movies...we always say, "It changed my life" in some extremely cheesy manner. Well, my friends who have seen this movie were sincere in saying those same words. And I believe them. I think it will change mine too.

Posted by Portia at 05:52 PM | Comments (0)

February 27, 2004

Just thinking....

Random thoughts....

Why is it that my hair only looks good when I'm not trying?

I would pay good money (in the event I had good money) to see Dennis Kucinich or Howard Dean debate G.W. Oooh! Or Ariana Huffington vs. G.W....why do I get such a kick out of this stuff?

It's amazing to me that we Christians spend all this time worrying about "the will of God" when all we really have to do is follow Him and obey His Word. I am the worst in this category...but getting better.

I hate how complicated the roles (or lack thereof) of men and women have become. Our society values femininity in men and masculinity in women. It's completely backward, and for those of us "in, but not of" Christians, finding a balance between socially acceptable behavior and Biblical truth can be overwhelming. Just look at the section in any bookstore regarding "relationships". Maybe I should strike while the iron is hot...hmm...I could write one of those.

Has Martha Stewart really done that much for women? Sure, she's helped femininity to become more appealing than it has in the past. But really I think she just stresses the average woman out, because there's no way on earth we could ever find the time or resources to accomplish the things she does in a half hour.

Every time I'm in my car I marvel at how absolutely rude and obnoxious people are on the road. For some odd reason the impulse to heap curses on a man's head or ruin his property are far more real than when I'm in a line at the grocery store. I don't understand what the difference is...why people feel so free to be complete jerks on the road. Maybe it's the false security of a huge piece of metal around you.

.....Well, that's about as random as I could be right now. Thomas Sowell (great columnists) was the inspiration. I like disjointed thoughts occasionally. This was one such occasion.


Posted by Portia at 10:35 AM | Comments (1)

February 21, 2004

My Friends

Check out my photo albums for the latest crazy stunts my friends and I have been up to. We miss Nick and Tony and want them to feel that, so last night, we took some pictures to show the extent of our support:) Hope you enjoy.

I still have yet to get pictures of the band performing at Beacon. Apparently, I'm supposed to get a video of the service, so I'll take frames from that when I receive it. The lighting and set up is awesome there, so I can't wait to post the pictures.

Have a lovely week,

Posted by Portia at 05:20 PM | Comments (0)

February 20, 2004

Our Culture

A strange phenomenon has happened to me today...I have free time. One of my clients couldn't keep me for very long because they had to leave for something, so I'm actually home, checking my email and things of that sort. It's very strange. It won't last for long. I have so much to do that I'm just taking a few minutes to write.

Down to business....
The older I get the more shocked I am at the culture we live in. Maybe it's because my parents did a good job of sheltering me, maybe it's because pop culture sickens me so I've never paid much attention to it, but I've never seen behavior as bad as it's been in the last few years.

To begin with, we've made the words "modesty" and "abstinence" synonymous with leprosy. I hate that people are ashamed to admit they're a virgin. Since when did that become a bad thing...preserving yourself for your spouse?! Okay, venting...

The mascots of this anti-modesty movement are the wonderful role models of oops-my-clothes-fell-off Britney Spears and oops-someone-pulled-my-clothes-off Janet Jackson. I'm telling you, television is simply not safe to watch. (On a side note, I'm a Justin Timberlake fan, or I should say I was a Justin Timberlake fan...that stunt made me so angry...I hope their careers are bruised for it.)

Another thing that just gets under my skin is how mean people are to each other. The ad hominem attacks toward conservatives, especially Donald Rumsfeld and George Bush, are so full of vitriol that I just can't listen to them without become enraged myself. Why can't people on opposing sides of an issue just talk with reason and respect?...could be that liberals don't use reason, but that's beside the point. Politicians need to learn manners, that's all I have to say.

And let's not even talk about the character assassination the media have attempted with Mel Gibson. That man deserves every award we could come up with for not caving and for handling himself with grace. We're so starved for role models in this culture, but men like Gibson cast a ray of hope into the darkness called Hollywood.

Okay, I think I'm done for now. I just had to get that off my chest. I'm horrified for my children. I don't know what things will be like by the time I have them.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

Posted by Portia at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

February 18, 2004

Busy, Busy, Busy


For those of you who check blogs as obsessively as I do, my sincerest apologies for being incommunicado for so long. My life has been insane the last couple of weeks. I have to make an appointment to talk to my parents...no joke. It's that bad. I work so much and have so much to do when I get home, and I'm hardly ever close to a computer. These things contribute to my absence. But, no excuses, I'm sorry.

I'm close to being done with my law school applications. I cannot wait until that is over. At this point, I'm indifferent about whether or not I get in. I just want it to be over.

I had a lovely Valentine's Day with all of my proud single friends :) They all came over here, got sick from eating to much, and laughed way to hard. The only thing missing was Nick. It was strange getting together without him. But, we did call him and wake him and his roommates up while screaming at my speaker phone. They were happy to hear from us. Which leads to the next point...

Nick and Tony left for Iraq in the wee hours of Monday morning. By the time they were ready to leave, they were actually excited and anxious to go. I could hear the excitement of everyone in the background. Tony even told me to "pray for the dirtbags we're going to bring in...they'll need it." These guys are ready to serve our country and the people of Iraq. They're completely focused on snuffing out terrorism. It was actually inspiring to hear them talk about it. It was also a relief.

We had been through our share of agony about their parting. It put our hearts at ease to hear of the peace the Lord had given them both. Nick told me to tell all our friends that he loves them, and wouldn't be excited about leaving for Iraq if it weren't for us. That meant a lot to hear. I love being able to say thank you to the men (and women) of our armed forces. He kept saying that he felt undeserving or overwhelmed by all of the support he received from us. But in all honesty, it was the least I could do to thank him and his company for risking their lives, living in horrible conditions, so that I could love comfortably in the land I love. There aren't enough care packages in the whole world that could truly express my gratitude.

We're praying earnestly for them every day. It's impossible not to think of them. I'm so thankful for men like Nick and Tony. Lord, bless and keep them. Be a shield about them. Be their strength, their fortress, their deliverer and strong tower. Bring them home safely.

Thank you,

Posted by Portia at 11:39 PM | Comments (0)

February 11, 2004

Coping Mechanisms


As far as trials in friendships go, this has got to be not only a first, but the hardest. I spoke with Nick and Tony last night on the phone and they both seem much more sober about the mission at hand. They're unable to tell us where they're going, what they'll be doing, or even when they're leaving...which is hard for both them and us...but they seemed far less optimistic about the whole trip than when we had spoken before their briefing. This, of course, scared the pants off of all of us. We don't like hearing that risk is involved in our friends' lives.

So, in order to cope with extreme anxiety, my friends and I have all become care package masters. We've bought a truck load of goodies to send them, things ranging from candy to anti-bacterial lotion. I'm having all the children I tutor write them letters and draw pictures for them. One of my mom's art classes will be drawing their unit pictures. Basically, we're like those team moms that take care of everything...only we're more like team sisters :)

Making sure they feel supported and prayed for has been one of the best coping mechanisms I could think of. Not only do we feel as though our friends are being taken care of, but it's also a way for us to finally show the support and care we have for our troops as a whole. Prior to this, I prayed without ceasing for our guys, but I never felt as though I had any interaction with them. Now, we're in the prayer trenches with them and it's good to feel useful.

Nick and Tony: We love and support you and are praying tremendous safety over you and your fellow Marines. I can assure you that not a day will go by without you being prayed for. We have your pictures up in our rooms to remind us, if that's ever even needed. May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard your hearts and minds.

Posted by Portia at 01:32 PM | Comments (9)

February 09, 2004

They're Off!


Well, they're just about to leave for Iraq, and I think I speak for all of my friends when I say that this is much harder to deal with than expected. We've all met people who've come back from Iraq, but we've never known someone really well before they left.

In case you're wondering what I'm talking about, our good friend Nick Fierro and new friend Tony Roth are headed off to Iraq for their second tour with the Marines. We all know the Lord is going to protect and keep them, but that doesn't mean we're not sick about it.

To counter our nausea, we all headed off to Orange County to dance the night away (That's me with Nick..more pics to come). Our friend taught us all a whole load of swing dance moves so we could "hold our own" on the dance floor. We had such a blast. It was a wonderful time. I honestly felt like I was in the forties, dancing with soldiers before they went off to defend the country. It was great.

It was hard to think about that being the last time we'd see them in 7 months. We'll be writing a whole lot and sending care packages like crazy though. We would never leave our guys stranded.

Nick and Tony: May the Lord bless you and keep you, and make His face shine upon you, and give you peace. God speed. You are loved and so appreciated!

Thank you for making our lives that much safer,

Eternally grateful,

Posted by Portia at 10:22 AM | Comments (3)

February 05, 2004

Change of Plans


Per my earlier post about Lisa's gig, which we all have to go to, the date's been changed. This works out much better for Lisa, because Monday was part of a holiday weekend and it was unlikely that record execs would come out then.

So, the date is now Thursday, February 19 same time and place. She needs a good showing. Only catch is it might be a 21 and over club. She's looking into it. But we all have to come out and support her. She's amazing if you've never heard her play or sing before.

Go Jazz! :)

Posted by Portia at 12:29 PM | Comments (0)



With my whole heart, every fiber of my being, I detest studying for the LSAT...which is probably why I really haven't. When you've already taken an excrutiating test and done not so well there's little to motivate you to really study for it again. Another 4.5 hours of torture...yippee!!

My dad keeps asking me why, if I'm so good at arguing, I can't convince myself to study...why I can't win that argument. I told him I have won an argument. I've convinced myself NOT to study :) And it's true...I wish I weren't so good at talking myself out of really important things. Next year's New Year's resolution I guess.

If you could even remember to utter a simple sentence of prayer for the Lord to give me a swift kick in the pants, it would be much appreciated. I really hate this stuff. I'll be relieved when it's over and upset at my next test score, to be sure. And the cycle continues. What's a girl to do? :)

Until then.
Still Me

Oh!! Two more things. I'm not sure if it's stress or what, but I was up so late last night with arrhythmic heart beats...really scary. My heart wouldn't settle down. It took about 30 minutes before it did. That has never happened to me before. I had a murmur when I was little, but I've never really had problems since. My doctors always told me I had a horse's heart...one of a strong athlete...so this scares me. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm going to get it checked out next week.

Lastly, I'm SO EXCITED ABOUT BEACON!!! I cannot wait! It's going to be great. I love playing with awesome musicians and our guys are awesome. Hope to see everyone there!

Posted by Portia at 12:20 PM | Comments (0)

February 02, 2004

A Rose by any other name


I took this picture at the Huntington and just wanted to see what it looked like on my blog...think I like it :)

I'll add something deep later...too tired to think of anything right now. Can't wait until I've taken the LSAT and all my applications are in. I'm telling you, applying to law school has got to be the most expensive thing I've ever had to do...more so than being a bridesmaid, which should say something if you've ever been one. I'm sure it'll all be worth it when it's over.

USC, if you're watching, you know you want me :)


Posted by Portia at 10:01 PM | Comments (8)